Loneliness and eating disorders: Break the cycle your way

Loneliness is defined in the Oxford Advanced Learner’s Dictionary as: ‘A feeling of being unhappy because you have no friends or people to talk to.’ Wow. Blunt, yes, but… is it that cut and dry? Well, maybe yes, and, maybe no. I don’t know about you, but I can definitely relate to the definition. Yet, I’ve also been in situations where I’ve been surrounded by so many people to talk to and still felt lonely. This begs the question: Is it that easy to define our feelings? They are deeply personal, rightly complex and worthy of more than just one sentence that covers the basics.

Thankfully there are health care professionals, support groups and organisations that know loneliness isn’t exactly as one dimensional as just a definition. It’s clear to see when we look at the theme of Mental Health Week 2022, which concentrates on the theme of loneliness. One of those things this can lead to – and be a product of – are eating disorders. And like loneliness, eating disorders are emotionally complex and involve treatment for both physical and mental conditions.

When your feelings won’t help you physically and physically, we can’t help our feelings

The health impacts of eating disorders are twofold. They are mental illnesses with physical manifestations that can both severely impact our health, whether it’s the quality of life of the person who has an eating disorder, or their family and friends, or in the worse-case scenario, mortality.  

How can we stop getting physically sick when our feelings are, for want of a better phrase ‘in the way?’

It can get complicated.  For example, leading London psychologist Dr Bijal Chheda-Varma details how binge eating disorder (BED) embodies this.

“…Overeating and obesity, weight gain, type-2 diabetes, high blood pressure and cholesterol issues are associated with binge eating.

“Binge eating, in order to manage difficult emotions such as loneliness, sadness or anger, for example, is a key mechanism.”

This evidence sounds tricky to address. How can we stop getting physically sick when our feelings are, for want of a better phrase ‘in the way?’ And, vice versa, too. For example, if someone already has diabetes, is feeling unwell and on top of that, emotionally defeated by what can be a difficult to manage condition… it’s not surprising that they may feel isolated in their despair about being able to get better.

Loneliness causes eating disorders, or vice versa?

It begs the question: ‘Are eating disorders the cause of loneliness, or does loneliness create eating disorders?’ Respected consultant endocrinologist and Top Doctors Award winner 2021 and 2017, Dr Mark Vanderpump reflects on how depression, which is a symptom of loneliness in eating disorders, is connected to diabetes.  

“Possible connections between diabetes and depression are as follows:

“Theory 1: depression leads to diabetes – depression leads to poor diet, which in turn can affect the metabolism and contribute towards the development of diabetes.

“Theory 2: having diabetes leads to depression – diagnosis of a chronic condition and having to manage it for the rest of your life can be overwhelming and affect mental health.”

Exactly which theory is the right one? Frustrating, right?

Dr Vanderpump continues: “It is possible that the truth is a bit of both – in some cases it may be that depression leads to diabetes and in others that diabetes leads to depression. It is also likely that the two act in a vicious chicken-and-egg cycle, each condition exacerbating the other.”

You can beat the cycle

Hold on. Before you resign to what seems to be an inescapable never-ending cycle, let’s take stop and breathe. We all deserve a healthy, happy life and we know that we can take a step towards recovery. So, what support is available?

Beat is a charity that provides support and advice for all aspects of eating disorders, including loneliness. Their experts have put together an excellent resource with ideas about what to do if you’re feeling lonely, acknowledging how eating disorders can feel like a lonely time.

“You may be avoiding social situations or feel like others are against you. In turn, isolation can exacerbate feelings of shame and rejection. If these feelings are familiar, you may be wondering ‘what can I do?’”

We all deserve a healthy, happy life and we know that we can take a step towards recovery.

Ways to address loneliness and eating disorders

One of the things they’ve suggested are distraction techniques, using the acronym BLAST – with L standing for loneliness. They suggest things like:

  • Having conversations with those who you come away from feeling positive.

Talking about your loneliness and eating disorder face-to-face can be a scary prospect, and Beat also suggests other ways to address your situation:

  • Silence sometimes makes loneliness worse, so making a list and watching, listening, or just having favourite music, podcasts, radio stations as well as films and TV shows you enjoy in the background.
  • Joining Beat’s online support group, The Sanctuary, which is a chat room that’s open daily from 5pm until it closes. The charity also provides further information about online support groups that want help with a specific type of eating disorders.      

To find out more about their tips of dealing with loneliness, which includes social media breaks, volunteering for a good cause and the BLAST distraction techniques, via the link.

The complexity of loneliness, eating disorders and how they relate to one another can be overwhelming. Arming yourself with the knowledge of how the conditions manifest and are treated, from the likes of Beat and our expert specialists, can give you the confidence to address what you need to stop the cycle – and get better in the way that works for you.

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