Self-regulation: is it really possible?

A person with good self-regulation (or emotional control) has the ability to keep their emotions in check, which may be easier said than done for others. We’ve asked one of our top neuropsychologists Dr Debora Elijah whether it really is possible for both adults and children to be able to manage their emotional responses to the events that occur around them and how to do so.
 

What is emotional control?

We are expected to regulate our emotions, especially feelings of anxiety and anger to prevent negative thoughts. Everyone experiences moments where they feel emotionally overwhelmed and allow their feelings to control their actions. In situations where this has happened, they may feel regret over the things that they have said and done afterwards.
 

Can you give examples of situations where emotional control can occur?

Self-regulation involves mastering your own emotions and behaviour in everyday situations, for example, if you were on a weight loss diet but went to a restaurant with friends and chose the healthiest option on the menu and skipped dessert.

Or, if a customer shouts at you and insults you but you remain calm to handle the situation. Or you are really busy at work and you have been given even more tasks to do, which ultimately leaves you feeling stressed. However, you do not show this added pressure to your colleagues.
 

How can I manage my emotions?

It is important to recognise that emotions are clues to how you are really feeling. Pay attention to what your mind is trying to tell you.

The emotional response that you feel is going to be based on different factors, including past experiences and the context of the current situation.

Whilst it may be difficult to control the emotions that surface in different situations, you can control the actions that follow. If you are angry with a particular person, it does not mean that you will shout at that person. You can feel and process an emotion without taking action.

The important thing is that you believe that you can emotionally handle the situation as opposed to not believing that it is possible to have emotional control at all.
 

How can children practise self-regulation?

At The Elijah Centre, we have developed our unique PROSCIG® program, which we use to prepare children for the mainstream school environment. We focus on strategies that will guide children when they are in school and the wider community.

We work with a variety of skills, which includes self-regulation. Our program focuses on three main areas: social perception, social problem-solving skills and self-monitoring (or emotional control).
 

How do you teach self-regulation at The Elijah Centre?

We encourage the children that we work alongside to identify what is appropriate and non-appropriate social behaviour both at home and in school. We encourage the child to engage in the ability to stop and think through a request before responding or before acting.
 

What tools can adults use to regulate their emotions?

Techniques such as meditation, mindfulness and stress management can help someone take control of their negative emotions and help with their responses to emotional situations.


Book an appointment with Dr Elijah now if you would like to discuss whether the PROSCIG program is suitable for your child.